As you were reading yesterday's blog, I bet you were wondering, "Where's the montage of Matilda pictures and videos with cheesy music?" Your answer lies herein. The music is "Have a Little Faith in Me" by John Hiatt. I admit that I had not heard the song before watching this episode of The Office. The video is called "Happy Six Moths, Matilda!" Listen carefully to the words and how they ofttimes sync with the pictures. A couple times I think I made myself cry. Enjoy!
Friday, February 13, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Two Hundred Sixty-Four Thousand, Nine-Sixty Minutes
Hey. It has been a while. You want to know why? That is none of your business. You really want to know? My, you are pushy today. Just realize that I have no o-BLOG-ation (ba-dum-CHING) to you, or to tell the truth. But thus said, here we go.
One day, I went out to pick up the paper. Nothing unusual so far. I was wearing my Freudian slippers (a 2007 Christmas present from the wife) and red-checked robe. The paper sat in the mud between the sidewalk and the curb. I still have not figured out why the paper boy does that. He walks down the sidewalk, and instead of placing the paper on the paved walkway to our door, or even tossing it up on our porch, he turns in the opposite direction and places it in the yet-unseeded and subsequently muddy patch on the other side. Little twerp.
Thoughts of a similar nature ran through my head as I braved the cold, when I bent over to grab the paper and heard a voice say, "Fart."
"That is odd," I thought to myself. "Usually I hear farts when I bend over, but I don't usually hear the word fart. Has my posterior suddenly become articulate? How polite of it." And I began walking back up the walkway.
"Fart," it said again. "Fart fart."
"I know that I ate expired sour cream last night, but this is ridiculous! Such an abundance of flatulence is extremely unusual. Could it be that someone was yelling profanities at me?" My heart saddened slightly. The thought of having a communicative butt was intriguing. So many questions could finally be answered. Looking around, however, it seemed as though the source of the sound was not part of my self. It did not even look like it was a part of this world.
"Who are you?" I inquired.
"I am Cuthbert, a troll of the third order, Sporco patrol. Fart FART!" And with that, he saluted.
"Well Cuthbert, let's clear the air, so to speak. What is with your constant dictation of the word, 'fart'?"
"After much observation, I found that it is the word most likely get your attention. Time is presently not a commodity we have present, so..."
Cuthbert proceeded to unfold to me a story of troll oppression so dastardly and heartbreaking that I could not help but help him. I would tell you what he looks like, or what I helped him and the Sporco patrol overthrow, but I was sworn to secrecy. One does NOT break an oath with a troll. Especially not those of the third order, Sporco patrol. I am sure I would wake up tomorrow missing who knows what body part. All I can tell you for now is this, Rosebud.
Hey, Pushy MacPusherson, you were the one who wanted, nay, needed to know why I had not been posting. I have told you all that I can due the ongoing sensitive nature of the mission. More may come later. Or it may not.
Matilda turned six months old today! We have already established that I believe that my child is the most beautiful, intelligent, fun, loving, fun-loving, smiley, laughy, strong, engaging, curious, addicting, radiating, scintillating, cool kid in the world. And I do not just say that because I am her father. I say that because if you put your child next to mine, ten out of ten people will agree that Matilda surpasses yours in each of the above-stated areas. Be offended, but if you are, then in the words of my good friend, and only other male blogger of which I know, "Suck it, dorks." Thanks, Alex, for putting it so well.
Here are some of her recent accomplishments:
Kind of reminds me of this:
In other news, we celebrated her six month birthday by taking her to a location devoid of caring or emotion where people inflict physical pain. I jest. I have had my moment of verbal aggression against the physicians. They do good work. I do not think they should get paid what they do to do it, but that is a topic for another day. I do apologize for any prior immaturity I may have expressed when talking about punching a doctor or nurse for taking blood samples or administering shots. It was mostly for comedic effect.
Since I finally took the time to clean some space off our memory card (we had not deleted any pictures since Matilda was born), I decided to photograph the events of the day as they unfolded. Here is what I have thus far.
She knows when she looks cool, and she knows it in this picture. Ever since I can remember I been poppin' my colla, poppin' poppin' my colla, poopin' poopin' my diapa!
Just enjoying watching the world go by.
One day, I went out to pick up the paper. Nothing unusual so far. I was wearing my Freudian slippers (a 2007 Christmas present from the wife) and red-checked robe. The paper sat in the mud between the sidewalk and the curb. I still have not figured out why the paper boy does that. He walks down the sidewalk, and instead of placing the paper on the paved walkway to our door, or even tossing it up on our porch, he turns in the opposite direction and places it in the yet-unseeded and subsequently muddy patch on the other side. Little twerp.
Thoughts of a similar nature ran through my head as I braved the cold, when I bent over to grab the paper and heard a voice say, "Fart."
"That is odd," I thought to myself. "Usually I hear farts when I bend over, but I don't usually hear the word fart. Has my posterior suddenly become articulate? How polite of it." And I began walking back up the walkway.
"Fart," it said again. "Fart fart."
"I know that I ate expired sour cream last night, but this is ridiculous! Such an abundance of flatulence is extremely unusual. Could it be that someone was yelling profanities at me?" My heart saddened slightly. The thought of having a communicative butt was intriguing. So many questions could finally be answered. Looking around, however, it seemed as though the source of the sound was not part of my self. It did not even look like it was a part of this world.
"Who are you?" I inquired.
"I am Cuthbert, a troll of the third order, Sporco patrol. Fart FART!" And with that, he saluted.
"Well Cuthbert, let's clear the air, so to speak. What is with your constant dictation of the word, 'fart'?"
"After much observation, I found that it is the word most likely get your attention. Time is presently not a commodity we have present, so..."
Cuthbert proceeded to unfold to me a story of troll oppression so dastardly and heartbreaking that I could not help but help him. I would tell you what he looks like, or what I helped him and the Sporco patrol overthrow, but I was sworn to secrecy. One does NOT break an oath with a troll. Especially not those of the third order, Sporco patrol. I am sure I would wake up tomorrow missing who knows what body part. All I can tell you for now is this, Rosebud.
Hey, Pushy MacPusherson, you were the one who wanted, nay, needed to know why I had not been posting. I have told you all that I can due the ongoing sensitive nature of the mission. More may come later. Or it may not.
Matilda turned six months old today! We have already established that I believe that my child is the most beautiful, intelligent, fun, loving, fun-loving, smiley, laughy, strong, engaging, curious, addicting, radiating, scintillating, cool kid in the world. And I do not just say that because I am her father. I say that because if you put your child next to mine, ten out of ten people will agree that Matilda surpasses yours in each of the above-stated areas. Be offended, but if you are, then in the words of my good friend, and only other male blogger of which I know, "Suck it, dorks." Thanks, Alex, for putting it so well.
Here are some of her recent accomplishments:
- Laughs a nice, deep, infectious laugh for her mommy and daddy. She's a very appreciative audience. Her favorite joke? Sneezing. She also likes daddy's crazy spastickeries.
- Rolls from tummy to back every time she is on her tummy. Has been doing this since she was less than two months. She has also twice rolled from back to front.
- Sits up unsupported. Her longest stint is 7 minutes alone, then I think she got bored.
- She loves food. I'm not talking about bottle food, either. She eats level 1 solid foods like a champ - barely any mess. My mother, grandmother, aunts, and anyone who sees her eat says, "Oh dear me, I have never in all my years seen a child who eats with such immaculate cleanliness and precision." Verbatim. Her favorite is sweet potato mush, which incidentally is also the only one I would eat if threatened with removal of a limb.
- She loves it when I read to her. Usually she'll just cuddle up to me and pat me with her arm until she falls asleep. So far, we've read the first Harry Potter, The Little Prince, and Pinocchio, all in Italian. We have also read Matilda in English. I don't know what our next book will be,
- She makes all sorts of cute sounds, including "Guh", "Fffffff", "Duh", "Ppppppp", "Goiii", and her favorite, "Aaaaaaaa".
- She loves patting and punching, especially with her right arm. Sometimes when she gets really sleepy, she'll just sit there and punch herself in the face with her fist. It is funny and cute. The best is when I come home and she comes to me and just pats my arm, as if to say, "Gee, I'm glad you're home!"
- She always looks for Mommy and Daddy when she knows they should be around. Even when my mom is babysitting, Matilda will always be looking around for me until she has seen me leave. She has also started to lean back towards Megan and I when we try and pass her to someone else. It's cute and heartwarming, but I hope she doesn't get stranger anxiety.
- She sleeps through the night without getting up to eat. Has since she was 2 weeks old. Her longest uninterrupted stint was 14 hours. Usually it's 8-10. Such a good sleeper! Takes good naps too.
- I love throwing her in the air, and she loves it too. Usually she spits up after, though.
Kind of reminds me of this:
In other news, we celebrated her six month birthday by taking her to a location devoid of caring or emotion where people inflict physical pain. I jest. I have had my moment of verbal aggression against the physicians. They do good work. I do not think they should get paid what they do to do it, but that is a topic for another day. I do apologize for any prior immaturity I may have expressed when talking about punching a doctor or nurse for taking blood samples or administering shots. It was mostly for comedic effect.
Since I finally took the time to clean some space off our memory card (we had not deleted any pictures since Matilda was born), I decided to photograph the events of the day as they unfolded. Here is what I have thus far.
Matilda enjoying a nice breakfast of Lightning McQueen. It came out of a box of Rice Krispies, so it must have some nutritional value, right? Trivia of interest: I bought these pajamas for Matilda about eighteen months ago, thinking they would be perfect for Christmas. These 3-6 month threads are just about right on her six month birthday. But hey, at 25 inches she moved into the 25th percentile for height, which is progress. She still rests just below the 5th percentile in weight at 13.00 lbs, and her head circumference is at the 35th percentile.
She knows when she looks cool, and she knows it in this picture. Ever since I can remember I been poppin' my colla, poppin' poppin' my colla, poopin' poopin' my diapa!
Tilly loves the water, and especially sticking her hands and feet in flowing water. This kid has been reaching for everything, and starting to grab. No more eating cereal with her on my lap, I guess.
If she has to get out of the bath (which she hates), at least she can get all snuggly in her turtle towel (which she loves)!
She has been sitting up for 5-6 minute stretches for about two weeks now. She only falls over when she tries to look too far over her shoulder, or reach to far forward for a toy. Other than that, she is very stable and good at balancing/correcting herself. The doctor was very impressed and said that her muscle tone is right now what they usually expect to see in 8-9 month-old babies.
A cute profile shot of her on her changing table in front of the window in her room. What a cute little nose. Such good posture, too!
Just enjoying watching the world go by.
Mommy helping her get undressed so that the doctor and nurses can do their thing. The poor thing is woefully ignorant of what is coming. I did give her some baby Tylenol about 30 min before, just to help out as much as I could.
Ignorant no more.
A little angry face and some comfort food. Luckily, she had not yet had her nap today, so after just a few minutes of angry growls and scowls, she was out like dead fish. But not as stinky.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Hasselhoff Sings the National Anthem
I just remembered that I have a video of one of our nation's greatest heroes glorifying Francis Scott Key's greatest work.
P.S. I think he's just trying to create some momentum for "Baywatch: The Musical".
P.S. I think he's just trying to create some momentum for "Baywatch: The Musical".
Pooping on the Craps
This is why I never kept a journal. I want to write details, commentary, tangents, and witty remakes about everything that happens while at the same time pontificating the precise and pointless philosophies which underlie each action. So when I do not write about something immediately after it happens, I get behind and say to myself, "If I haven't done it today and the world did not end, then it can surely go one more day." And thus it does. Day by day. Day by day. Day by day. Oh dear Lord, three things I pray: to see thee more clearly, love thee more dearly, follow thee more nearly day by day. (Thanks to Godspell for the lyrical inspiration. If you've never seen that movie, it is a MUST for all you Netflix-ers. Move it to the top of your queue today. The same guy who did the music to Wicked wrote the music for Godspell. Victor Garber as an afro-Jesus is also classic.)
I have decided that it is like doing the dishes. When I have a clean kitchen, it is easy to just wash and put in the dishwasher any and everything I use. When something is in the sink, though, I begin thinking that one more thing won't hurt since I obviously do not have time to rinse and put away what I used plus what is already in the sink. And thus is backs up. And up. And up. Day by day. Day by day. Oh dear goodness, you didn't really think I was going to go through all that again, did you?
Come with me back to December 20, 2008. You there? Okay then.
I knew that my wife had a surprise for me scheduled for that day, because she told me that she did. But I had no idea what it was. It seemed like we were going to be spending the night somewhere because she kicked me out of the room so she could "organize some things" (i.e. pack), but then my brother showed up at about 8 AM, and I was really confused. It had been horrible weather, so I did not think we would drive anywhere, but then we all piled into the car and started south on I-15 with James driving. About the time we got to Nephi, Megan let me open a box which contained two tickets to the Las Vegas Bowl game featuring BYU v. Arizona!! What a thoughtful wife I have!
Tilly was great the whole way down and back, and people couldn't seem to get enough of her. We stopped at In-n-Out in Washington, Utah, for lunch and at least four people went out of their way to say how beautiful she is. While Megan was standing in line to check us in at the Stratosphere, many other people just stared at Matilda and how she was balancing at the end of my outstretched arm. She's even a good little gambler too. Luckily we were up $50 when she pooped on the craps table and they asked us to leave. A forgivable error, no?
So then we went to the Las Vegas Bowl. It was a great game, then we lost. James and I even went down on the field after to try and get some U of A fans to start talking crap and make some fun adventures and memories that way, but they just ignored us completely. I swear I could have punched a linebacker in the kneecap and he would not have done anything. The highlight of the night had to be David Hasselhoff singing the national anthem.
The next day we had a lot of fun meandering about the Stratosphere and the Strip. I got Megan a nice coat from United Colors of Benetton as her Christmas present, we watched the fountains at Bellagio, and we used google maps on my phone to find the nearest Smith's when Matilda pooped a mighty poop in what turned out to be her last diaper. And Las Vegas is not like Utah were you can ask any (I mean ANY) random passerby if they have a diaper.
Can I say a few more things about the Tilly-nomenon? Thanks. It was honestly odd the number of people who would look at her and smile and slow down to interact with her for a second. Some told us how lucky we are, others just cooed for a minute then walked on. When going down the pathway at the Bellagio, we were right behind a bride in an elaborate and ornate gown, and Tilly got more looks and smiles than even her! Megan thinks that it is because Utah in inundated with babies that Matilda does not draw quite as much attention here. James also made the astute comment that the only people who were not smiling at her were the ones with babies in their arms or in a stroller. He thought, and I agree, that they are probably thinking, "Stupid people with the baby that is so much cuter than mine. I hates them."
So here are a few shots I took of and at the Bellagio, followed by our little baby, The Cute:
The happy Murphy family in front of the gaudy, glittering, and gorgeous Bellagio courtyard Christmas display
Matilda sitting pretty while the fountains dance to Madonna's version of "Santa Baby"
Hobo Bum McMurphy, Tilly, and Uncle Jimmathy
And I leave you for now with two of the cutest pictures you've ever seen.
I have decided that it is like doing the dishes. When I have a clean kitchen, it is easy to just wash and put in the dishwasher any and everything I use. When something is in the sink, though, I begin thinking that one more thing won't hurt since I obviously do not have time to rinse and put away what I used plus what is already in the sink. And thus is backs up. And up. And up. Day by day. Day by day. Oh dear goodness, you didn't really think I was going to go through all that again, did you?
Come with me back to December 20, 2008. You there? Okay then.
I knew that my wife had a surprise for me scheduled for that day, because she told me that she did. But I had no idea what it was. It seemed like we were going to be spending the night somewhere because she kicked me out of the room so she could "organize some things" (i.e. pack), but then my brother showed up at about 8 AM, and I was really confused. It had been horrible weather, so I did not think we would drive anywhere, but then we all piled into the car and started south on I-15 with James driving. About the time we got to Nephi, Megan let me open a box which contained two tickets to the Las Vegas Bowl game featuring BYU v. Arizona!! What a thoughtful wife I have!
Tilly was great the whole way down and back, and people couldn't seem to get enough of her. We stopped at In-n-Out in Washington, Utah, for lunch and at least four people went out of their way to say how beautiful she is. While Megan was standing in line to check us in at the Stratosphere, many other people just stared at Matilda and how she was balancing at the end of my outstretched arm. She's even a good little gambler too. Luckily we were up $50 when she pooped on the craps table and they asked us to leave. A forgivable error, no?
So then we went to the Las Vegas Bowl. It was a great game, then we lost. James and I even went down on the field after to try and get some U of A fans to start talking crap and make some fun adventures and memories that way, but they just ignored us completely. I swear I could have punched a linebacker in the kneecap and he would not have done anything. The highlight of the night had to be David Hasselhoff singing the national anthem.
Hobo Bum McMurphy and James after the game
The next day we had a lot of fun meandering about the Stratosphere and the Strip. I got Megan a nice coat from United Colors of Benetton as her Christmas present, we watched the fountains at Bellagio, and we used google maps on my phone to find the nearest Smith's when Matilda pooped a mighty poop in what turned out to be her last diaper. And Las Vegas is not like Utah were you can ask any (I mean ANY) random passerby if they have a diaper.
Can I say a few more things about the Tilly-nomenon? Thanks. It was honestly odd the number of people who would look at her and smile and slow down to interact with her for a second. Some told us how lucky we are, others just cooed for a minute then walked on. When going down the pathway at the Bellagio, we were right behind a bride in an elaborate and ornate gown, and Tilly got more looks and smiles than even her! Megan thinks that it is because Utah in inundated with babies that Matilda does not draw quite as much attention here. James also made the astute comment that the only people who were not smiling at her were the ones with babies in their arms or in a stroller. He thought, and I agree, that they are probably thinking, "Stupid people with the baby that is so much cuter than mine. I hates them."
So here are a few shots I took of and at the Bellagio, followed by our little baby, The Cute:
The happy Murphy family in front of the gaudy, glittering, and gorgeous Bellagio courtyard Christmas display
Matilda sitting pretty while the fountains dance to Madonna's version of "Santa Baby"
Hobo Bum McMurphy, Tilly, and Uncle Jimmathy
And I leave you for now with two of the cutest pictures you've ever seen.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
When You're Smiling
It would seem as though I prefer videos to just posting a plethora of pictures. (I know, people overuse "plethora" to the point where it has become cliche, but I'm still using it for the sake of alliteration.) At least for now I prefer videos. I may change my opinion later, or tomorrow, or whenever. You people should know by now that you get no guarantees from this guy.
So yeah, just one more piece of evidence that my daughter is the ne plus ultra of baby beauty.
So yeah, just one more piece of evidence that my daughter is the ne plus ultra of baby beauty.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Fat Bottomed Girl
We just had Matilda's four-month checkup on Friday, December 12. One would never think that such a chunk of a baby could have come from my petite little wife, but it is true--we have a heifer child. We are practicing telling her that it is okay to be portly, since obesity is undeniably her density. (<--Intentional spelling error for comedic effect. Geez, do I really have to spoon-feed you people everything?)
After the doctor used a pulley device and two nurses to haul her lardness onto the scale, she broke it. They eventually had to bring out two scales and weigh her half at a time. When all was said and done, she weighed 11.02 pounds (5th percentile) and was 23 inches long (1oth percentile). Her 5-day younger cousin, Andrew, is going to have some catching up to do if he does not want to forever live in the literal shadow of our tubby Tilly. I heard that last week his parents had him weighed, and he weighs under 17 pounds. I guess some kids are just small.
Enjoy the video.
After the doctor used a pulley device and two nurses to haul her lardness onto the scale, she broke it. They eventually had to bring out two scales and weigh her half at a time. When all was said and done, she weighed 11.02 pounds (5th percentile) and was 23 inches long (1oth percentile). Her 5-day younger cousin, Andrew, is going to have some catching up to do if he does not want to forever live in the literal shadow of our tubby Tilly. I heard that last week his parents had him weighed, and he weighs under 17 pounds. I guess some kids are just small.
Enjoy the video.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
I meant to briefly (not boxerly) mention Halloween and move on, but then this happened. Maybe I'll post about Thanksgiving by Easter.
First things first. Here are some pictures of my daughter, Matilda, of whom I am the world's biggest acolyte. Even when that girl just don't want to be sleeping, I cannot help but smile at her. Most of the time she will smile back, too! And I tell you what, one of my favorite things has become going to see her in the morning. Often she will wake up and just coo and goo and fart, but not really cry yet. She just sits and stares at the polka dots on her bedding, the ceiling fan (which she thinks is funny for some reason), or her fist. If I can catch her when she is in such a state, I just poke my head over the side of her crib and wait until she sees me. As soon as she does, the biggest and warmest smile engulfs her face. Even her ears smile at me. Can a person's ears smile? I did not think so, but then Matilda's did at me. Then I saw her ears, now I'm a believer without a trace of doubt in my mind. I'm in love. I'm a believer. I couldn't leave her if I tried.
If you want to hear more about what we did on All Hallows Eve, I refer you to Allison and Camie. Both documented the evening's events more than adequately. I have nothing to add. I do wish to note that Megan sewed Matilda's witch hat by herself (no patterns, pictures, or anything but brain power to work from) while we watched Hocus Pocus on the 30th. I helped by having bought the dress (on super-sale at Hanna Andersson) and the pants (on super-sale from Old Navy). I didn't have the whole costume in mind when I bought those things, but everything came together nicely into the cutest little witch ever. If I were to write a book about her in Italian, it would be called La Bella Bambina Streghina. And without further ado, the Halloween pics.
I was about to go on with this post, but I have decided not to. Enjoy what I have provided you with. Don't be greedy.
P.S. If any of you want a great scary movie, watch The Innocents (1961) with Deborah Kerr. We did not get it in time from Halloween from Netflix, but it gave us a good scare the following Tuesday.
If you want to hear more about what we did on All Hallows Eve, I refer you to Allison and Camie. Both documented the evening's events more than adequately. I have nothing to add. I do wish to note that Megan sewed Matilda's witch hat by herself (no patterns, pictures, or anything but brain power to work from) while we watched Hocus Pocus on the 30th. I helped by having bought the dress (on super-sale at Hanna Andersson) and the pants (on super-sale from Old Navy). I didn't have the whole costume in mind when I bought those things, but everything came together nicely into the cutest little witch ever. If I were to write a book about her in Italian, it would be called La Bella Bambina Streghina. And without further ado, the Halloween pics.
I put a spell on you...
...and now you're mine!!
The witch on white. Almost sounds like a sandwich, eh?
Joel-Bone, Strega-Tilly, and Samnocchio. All three in costumes lovingly sewn (at least in part) by their wonderful mothers. And Paddington Bear wanted to play too. Happy 50th, PB!!
I'm pretty sure she is thinking, "I could turn you into a pumpkin seed if I wanted. A purple pumpkin seed. A polka-dotted, pansy-purple, prissy, prancing, prickly, pimply, partially-hydrogenated pumpkin seed. If I wanted to. Lucky for you I do not. Not at this time, anyways."
Last cute picture of Witchy Matilda. She used to twitch a lot while sleeping as a newborn. I joked that I was going to nickname her "Twitch". Too bad she stopped, otherwise I could have called her "Twitch the Witch". This is my favorite of the Halloween pics, by the way.
And finally, my Mario pumpkin. There's a little "M" on his hat that you cannot see from this angle. I roasted his seedy guts and ate them. They were delicious. Better watch your back, Luigi.
I was about to go on with this post, but I have decided not to. Enjoy what I have provided you with. Don't be greedy.
P.S. If any of you want a great scary movie, watch The Innocents (1961) with Deborah Kerr. We did not get it in time from Halloween from Netflix, but it gave us a good scare the following Tuesday.
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